


In That Stupid Closet

by Donotmind_mehere



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Tension, Bisexual Male Character, Boys Kissing, Chorus (Red vs. Blue), Chorus Trilogy (Red vs. Blue), Drama, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Gay Male Character, Gay Panic, Gay Sex, Grimmons, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Panic Attacks, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex, Sort Of, Temple of Procreation (Red vs. Blue), kind of, lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29270976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donotmind_mehere/pseuds/Donotmind_mehere
Relationships: Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	In That Stupid Closet

“Kiss me,” Grif told Simmons after the door had been locked. 

Simmons listened and kissed him, his mind and body snatching up the opportunity. 

He knew Grif wasn’t drunk, they’d been inseparable all night and Simmons had found it strange that Grif wasn’t drinking. 

When they stepped into an empty hall of the Fed’s base Grif’s relaxed demeanor instantly changed to nervous. 

Simmons had been so stunned when Grif had grabbed his hand that he would have followed him into a million dingy closets if they all had the same outcome. 

It wasn’t a tight closet but it didn’t leave much to the imagination when they were pressed so tightly to each other and their clothes started to come off.

Piece by piece they were stripping themselves bare for each other. 

_ See me.  _ They were saying but no words were exchanged. 

_ Touch me.  _ They begged by committing fingers to flesh previously untouched. 

_ Love me _ . They told one another as they shared this closeness that they had each craved for years.

Simmons hadn’t considered that he’d never done this before, he didn’t have time to overthink or consider the outcome of what would happen next and what time others would say. 

The only thing on his mind was the man on top of him, and the moans that escaped his lips as the party outside went on.

It was loud and the odds of someone hearing them were low, and when Tucker had turned on the temple, that sent everyone else into a ravenous frenzy of sexual conquest, the two of them barely noticed. 

Weeks later, when everyone else had decided to either foot the bill of their exploits or leave, the two of them were still at their table, trying to decide. 

“I thought we were going to die.” Grif had told Simmons “ I know we had won but Felix was lethal.” 

“Is that why you did it?” Simmons asked from across the room. 

They were still in separate beds, beds that felt like islands in the ocean of space between them. 

“Did what?” Grif tried to feign ignorance, he was trying to come to grips with himself. 

He’d felt this connection with Simmons from the first time they’d met, back in boot camp, he was like a spark that had set a fire that's never been lit before. 

He thought about him every day and when they met again Blood Gulch he was surprised by how little they both had changed. 

Grief never loved another man the way he loved Simmons, only women and now his entire identity was crumbling before his feet. 

Simmons bit his lip in a way that mimicked the he did when Grif had first touched him, Simmons wanted to keep the memories at bay but he wanted top relive them, make more.

“In the storage closet.” Simmons said, trying to dance around the subject. 

Simmons had been a virgin though and though before that night. He hasn’t grown up in a religious household but his complete lack of confidence due to other abuse made it impossible for Simmons to even fully discover who or what he was. 

When he met Grif he didn’t think much of him, he thought what the others told him to think and he would have probably forgotten about him had they not been stationed together in that stupid canyon. 

They fought a lot during the day but a night when they were forced to share a room, he couldn’t help but laugh at his stupid jokes,stare longingly into his eyes that looked like pools of honey, be endeared at his commitment to his identity, and admire the complexities that made up this complete person. 

Never in a million years would Simmons think that him and Grif were very very similar. 

“No,” Grif admitted, “that isn’t why I did it.” 

Neither of them had been prepared for that answer. 

“Then why did we? The temple hadn’t-“ Simmons tried to ask but Grif cut him off.

“I don’t know…” Grif said trying to control his breathing and stop his heart from ripping out of his chest “I just-look why do you have to make it weird?” 

“How the hell am I making it weird?!” Simmons asked, sitting up attempting to catch a glimpse of his eyes. 

They were both quiet. Simmons was sat on his bed trying to will Grif, who had thrown a pillow over his face, to look at him.

“Because you’re talking about it.” Grif said, his words muffled through the pillow “because…I didn’t want it to happen like that.” 

They both sat in a silence that permeated thick throughout their room. 

“Grif, I love you.” Simmons said with trepidation heavy in his voice. 

Grif partially jumped out of his bed, his eyes were glossy with shed tears, his heart was racing faster than his breath could keep up with, when Grif passed out, face first on the deck, Simmons admittedly thought he  had died. 

Doctor Grey would later say he’d simply had a pain in attack and when prodded with more questions, Simmons did his best to lie to the intelligent doctor and said 

“I think it was a nightmare...he uh gets them a lot.” 

“You seem to be very close with him,” the implications were thick in her voice “ are you sure you’re telling the truth?” 

“Look all I know is one moment his fatass is asleep, the next, he’s jumping out of bed like he just got shot and passing out.” 

Doctor Grey arches an eyebrow 

“Whatever you say, Lieutenant, he’ll be fine, I’m going keep him here overnight for observation if anything strange shows up I’ll be sure to let President Kimball know to push your departure date to the right.”

“Departure date?” Simmons ask. 

“Yes,” she says “it was supposed to be a surprise but well, surprise!” She smiles.

“Thanks.” Simmons says “just uh let me know if he gets worse.”

“You know,” she begins, “sometimes people respond to unexpected events like this, it’s like a survival mechanism, it doesn’t mean that he wasn’t happy.”

Simmons squinted his eyes at her, trying to understand if she already knows what happened or is simply trying to get information. Knowing her, it’s the former. 

“It’s probably best if it doesn’t happen again.” He says. 

Doctor Grey sighs exasperated, probably happy she doesn’t have to deal with these kinds of things. 

When Grif comes back to the room the next morning and asks what happened, Simmons lies, saying he had another nightmare, telling him his panic attack got so bad he collapsed. 

Grif knows this is a lie but also knows he isn’t ready to fully commit to actually dealing with  _ who _ he is and knows that Simmons deserves a lot better than that. 

He knows he shouldn’t have led him into that closet, knows he should have kissed him, knows they should have fucked, and Grif knows more than anything that he shouldn't love Simmons the way that he does and it’s just better if Simmons keeps on thinking it was all just a mistake. 

Simmons too knew Grif was lying about not remembering their conversation but he wanted to preserve the illusion that one day would come that they could both accept who they were and try again outside of that stupid closet. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
